Conflict is a disagreement that will occur between two parties or two individuals who feel threatened by the opposing parties’ or individuals opinions and feelings. Conflicts occur for a variety of reasons but they are an inevitable part of our lives because even the smallest things can spark a conflict. This is the reason why conflicts are an everyday occurrence. Often, the problem escalates and becomes too big to be resolved. When this occurs, there might even be a need for an entire relationship to dissolve which isn’t productive and should be an avoidable result. We might not be able to stop the conflict from occurring but we can gain knowledge of resolving it to prevent further and future damage. This is the reason for conflict management. Its sole purpose is to reduce or limit the negative aspects of conflict and bring about the positive ones. There are many various methods to solving conflict but ultimately they revolve around three main strategies which are avoidance, collaboration and compromise.
According to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the Thomas and Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) use of collaboration is an effective way of management conflict. When using this strategy, both conflicting parties are usually looking for a ‘win/win’ situation where both parties are looking to achieve their goals and maintain the relationship. This outcome is an effective and productive result which applies to everyone who comes into contact with conflict. This method best works when there is a high level of trust, when the people involved are willing to change their viewpoint as new information is brought up and new opinions are suggested. This style engages people to effectively listen, to face the situation head on without hostility, to evaluate the situation and to find the true nature of the problem. However this strategy can lead to one party taking advantage of the other since trust and openness are involved, one may easily manipulate the other. This process also takes a lot of time and energy.
When avoiding conflict, a natural outcome of this strategy is where neither party ‘wins’ nor ‘loses’. The dictionary defines avoidance as to keep away from or to prevent from happening. Both parties have a mutual desire to avoid addressing the problem. People who resolve to use this method usually do have common ground to do so. For some, the issue could be too small to let it damage the relationship that they would just avoid it. This also happens when the particular problem is less important when stacked up against more urgent matters that it is just easier to avoid it. Sometimes it is all a matter of power and how much control one has in the situation. When an individual or when one side of the party is in a position of lesser authority or power, the chances of getting the problem addressed and resolved is resoundingly low. Some may try to postpone the problem so it can be resolved at later date or simply just to reduce tensions. According to the TKI, Rahim, and Kozan models, avoidance will lead to neither party getting their concerns met. In the decade between 1990 and 2000, one of Kozan’s Group Conflict Management models, the harmony model was not seen as an opportunity to find solutions to problems, but as a harmful state of affairs. When conflict does occur, it is often handled through mediation by third parties. After the millennium, Rahim’s methods appear to be the most ‘current’ of conflict management. Rahim’s model and the TKI method share the same view point. Both models believe that avoidance is appropriate when the issue is minor, when the potential effects of confronting the other party outweigh the benefits of resolution, and that a cooling off period is needed. However the TKI model believes that there are learning capabilities from using avoidance. Certain skills can be developed in this style such as using foresight in knowing when to withdraw, learn to sidestep loaded questions or sensitive areas by using diplomacy, become skillful at creating a sense of timing, and practice leaving things unresolved.
Lastly, people can use the compromising approach to managing conflict. In this method, not all concerns are met but both parties don’t walk away ‘empty-handed’. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines compromise as a settlement of differences by consent reached by mutual concessions. Both parties will usually have mutual goals that can be achieved for the benefit of both, but certain conflicting points of view will have to be foregone, sort of like winning something while losing a little. According to Rahim’s method of compromise, both parties must be equally powerful. If one was in a better standing then the other or had leverage over the other, it would result in a competing or accommodating view. Compromise is used when the goals are mutually exclusive and important, when an agreement cannot be reached, when the integrating or dominating style is not successful or when a temporary solution to a complex problem is needed. The TKI method shares the view that both parties must be equally powerful. However, it only produces temporary solutions and is used when time is a concern. People who excel at compromising are able to come out of it with great communication skills. Keeping an open dialogue is extremely important as both parties need to find a solution that is fair to both parties. It is an extremely effective use of conflict management as lack of it will lead to unnecessary confrontations, frequent power struggles, and ineffective negotiating.
To sum up, although there are many different strategies that can be applied to managing conflict, the three most effective ways appear to be avoiding, compromising and collaborating. Conflict isn’t something anyone would like to go through and yet it is still an unfortunate part of our everyday lives. As a rule of free will and a free thinking society, people will have their own views and opinions. Conflict will naturally show up when two individuals have opposing views and ideas. Maintain balance and peace in any group whether it be among friends, family members or even at work is crucial to life. And that’s what conflict management is all about, maintaining that balance. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself.”
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